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THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2: Spectacularly sleep-inducing
The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is about an hour too long, an hour too sappy and an hour too boring.
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As we were driving home from a screening of the latest comic-book adaptation of the wisecracking webslinger, my friend (a popular local comic book artist who I’m sure wouldn’t want to be named here in case Marvel is watching) noted that we were “desperately trying to find reasons to like it.”

And it was true.

Part of me really wanted to like it—after all, it was a vast improvement over Marc Webb’s wholly unnecessary reboot The Amazing Spider-Man—but there was an even bigger part of me, the critical me, that just couldn’t get into it. When I left the theater after Captain America: The Winter Soldier, I was pumped and excited and ready to turn right back around and watch it all over again; here, all I wanted to do was eat a couple of Gogurts and take a nap.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is a collection of fantastic special-effects show-reels of our favorite wallcrawler spinning webs all across high-diving scenescapes of New York City sandwiched in-between numerous and, ultimately, needless, attempts at rom-com idiocy between an increasingly-emo Peter Parker (a wooden Andrew Garfield) and his long-suffering-but-spunky ladylove Gwen Stacy (a plastic Emma Stone).

It also just happens to have a few baddies, thrown in almost as an afterthought.

When it comes to the villains, the story itself is a full-on remake of Batman Forever, with Jamie Foxx as an obsessive Spider-Nerd turned living-current Electro and Dane DeHaan as the Green Goblin-morphing poor little rich boy Harry Osborne. They have a plan to seek revenge on Spider-Man (who knows why) that somehow involves stealing all of the electricity in New York while concurrently stealing a sample of Spidey’s radioactive blood because it apparently has healing properties. Or something.

There are no real motivations for anything the characters do except for the script telling them to do it, but the highly-stylized battle sequences are pretty entertaining and keep the film alive for the most part. Too bad they’re so few and far between.

The first finale (one of about six) does offer a truly shocking scene that I’m surprised they had the cojones to do this early in the new franchise’s life; it is one of the few times where the film does reach the emotional resonance of the unforced original Sam Raimi outings to heartbreaking effect.

The remainder of the endings, by the way, are all nothing but set up for a Sinister Six flick that, if the final three minutes here are any indication, will hopefully prove to be the Spider-Man film that this one should’ve been all along.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is about an hour too long, an hour too sappy and an hour too boring. No one will leave the theater energized, ready to take on the world, but, instead, drive home wrestling with their own internal fandom, trying to figure out whether or not this was a worthwhile movie.

Let me sum it up for you, true believers: it’s amazingly not.

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About the Author

Louis Fowler

Güicho. Gadfly. Chicano. Choctaw. Cristero. Freelancer. Leftist. Activist. Vilified. PKD....

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About Red Dirt Report

Red Dirt Report was launched July 4, 2007 as an independent news website covering all manner of news, culture, entertainment and lifestyle stories that affect and interest Oklahoma readers and readers outside of our state. Our mission is to educate, promote civic engagement and discourse on public policy, government and politics. Our experienced journalists provided balanced in-depth coverage of news stories that affect Oklahomans. Our opinion/editorial stories come from a wide range of political view points. We carry out our mission by reporting, writing, and posting news and information. read more

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